71 When someone mentions Multiple Sclerosis, what pops into your head? Probably the physical struggles, right? But what about our mental health? Maybe you have MS, or you’re supporting a loved one with MS, or perhaps you’re learning about it for the first time. No matter who you are or what you already know, this article is here to highlight the mental health side of MS and hopefully share some practical advice to make things a little easier. And if the advice isn’t quite what you with MS need right now, I hope it at least makes you feel less alone in these thoughts and feelings. Living With MS Isn’t Just Physical Living with MS isn’t just about dealing with physical symptoms like fatigue, trouble moving around, or nerve pain. It also means facing a whole range of emotions that can sometimes feel just as (or more) overwhelming as the physical challenges. You might experience moments of frustration when your body doesn’t cooperate, or feel isolated when it seems like no one else quite understands what you’re going through. On top of that, there’s the constant pain of managing medical appointments, being your own advocate, medications, and treatment plans. It’s a lot to keep track of, and it can easily feel like a second job. It’s important to also acknowledge that living with MS can also impact your relationships, work, and day-to-day life. You might worry about being a burden to your loved ones or feel uncertain about what the future holds. These feelings are all part of the experience and can be tough to talk about. For parents, caregivers, and everyone who loves someone with MS, it could be comforting to know how to support them while also taking care of your own mental health, which is also very, very important. I wanted to talk about this because I remember when I first learned about MS — I had so many questions, and I wished I had more help to manage my mental well-being, beyond just focusing on medications, what the future would be like, and all those draining doctor visits. The Emotional UGH Of Getting The Diagnosis Receiving any life-changing diagnosis can be devastating, both mentally and emotionally, and it’s normal to feel a mix of difficult emotions – fear, grief, uncertainty, even depression, and it also varies depending on the circumstances leading up to the diagnosis. It might be a relief to finally have an answer to something that has worried you for a long time, or it could be terrible news you never wanted to hear. I was just feeling so checked out when I got my diagnosis and when the doc was explaining everything to me. He showed me these white spots on the brain scans and how they were linked to the paralysis and nerve pain I’d been dealing with. The tough part was, I’d already been bracing myself for the worst a month earlier, and that’s when I was really at my lowest – just drowning in all the uncertainty. Look, I totally get what you’re going through. It’s totally understandable to feel really sad and down for a while after getting news like that. Your emotions are valid, and you shouldn’t feel bad about needing time to process everything. At the same time, I also don’t want you to lose sight of the fact that you have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve to make the most of it and find ways to thrive, even with the challenges you’re facing. I know it’s tempting to go down the Google rabbit hole, searching for answers and preparing for the worst. But from personal experience, that can just end up ramping up the anxiety even more. The best thing is to stick to reputable medical sources when you need information, and try not to obsess over every worst-case scenario. I know that’s easier said than done – I’ve been there myself. But try to be kind to yourself through it all. The sadness and grief are completely understandable, so don’t beat yourself up over needing that time. Instead, focus on building your support system. Confide in trusted friends and family members about what you’re going through. Consider joining an online or in-person MS support group to connect with others who understand. A therapist can also provide guidance on coping strategies and managing these new feelings. And most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Facing any diagnosis is a major adjustment, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but also make time for activities that makes you happy – whether that’s playing the Sims, watching a movie, or watching silly animal videos on social media. Illustration by Erika Lee Sears So Which Treatment Plan Is The Best? I know, it’s so tempting to start Googling around and diving into online forums when you’re trying to figure out the right treatment plan, isn’t it? But oof, that’s a rabbit hole you really don’t want to go down. It’s like opening the floodgates to a room full of worried opinions and horror stories. The last thing you need is that kind of anxiety-inducing info. At the same time, I get that it’s so important to be proactive about your health and make sure you’re comfortable with the plan your doctor is recommending. Really understanding the potential side effects, weighing the pros and cons – that’s important. And you absolutely should feel empowered to speak up if something doesn’t feel right. But yikes, managing it all can be just exhausting, both mentally and physically. Why do we have to shoulder so much of that responsibility for our own care? It’s not fair that the responsibility is so often on us to be our own fierce advocates, on top of everything else we’re dealing with. I wish I had an easy answer, but the reality is, the healthcare system can be a real uphill battle sometimes. The best thing is to try to find that balance – trust your doctor’s expertise, but don’t be afraid to ask questions and push back when needed. Lean on your support system too, when the weight of it all starts to feel overwhelming. And Why Is Everything So Expensive? The financial side of managing this condition can also take such a huge toll on your mental health. It’s like this constant weight on your shoulders, worrying about how you’re gonna afford all the care you need. And the shame and powerlessness that can come with having to make tough financial tradeoffs or adjustments? That’s a whole other layer of difficulty. It’s so common to feel frustrated and ashamed about the state of your finances, especially when you’re already dealing with so much on the health front. But you’ve gotta remember – you are absolutely not alone in this struggle. So many people with MS are facing similar financial hardships. And the good news is, there are resources and support systems out there that can help ease that burden a little. The first step is to really dive into understanding your insurance coverage, and have an open conversation with your healthcare providers about the costs involved. Don’t be afraid to ask about financial assistance programs, payment plans, or alternative treatments that might be more affordable. Advocate for yourself – you’ve got to be your own champion here. And don’t forget about patient advocacy organizations like the National MS Society. They can be a wealth of information and connect you to support networks to help you navigate all this. You don’t have to go it alone. I know it’s not easy, and the financial stress can feel downright crippling sometimes. But try to hang in there, and remember that you’ve got people who want to help however they can. What If I Feel Like A Burden? I know that feeling all too well – the constant fear of being a burden on the people you love. As the practical and financial demands of managing this condition start to pile up, it’s so easy to just spiral into endless worry about the toll it’s taking on your family, friends, and partner. Those feelings of guilt can show up in all kinds of sneaky ways – withdrawing from social situations, avoiding asking for help when you need it, or even lashing out in anger at the people closest to you. The dread of being a source of stress or frustration is just paralyzing, isn’t it? It can lead to you shutting yourself off and damaging those important relationships. But hey, the key is opening up that line of communication. Have those honest conversations with your support network about what you’re feeling. Hearing their reassurances that you are absolutely not a burden, and working together to figure things out. I know it’s not easy to be vulnerable like that. The anxiety and shame can feel overwhelming. But try to remember that the people who love you want to be there for you, to support you however they can. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. In fact, it’s a gift you can give to the people who care about you – the chance to show up and be there for you. Don’t deprive them of that. You’re not a burden, my friend. You’re a person they love, going through something incredibly challenging. Let them in, and let them help carry that load with you. Illustration by Ruby Facing The Uncertainty Of The Future Living with MS is just this constant confrontation with the great unknown, isn’t it? What if the symptoms get worse? How’s it all going to impact your work, your relationships, the life you’ve built? Those persistent fears about the future can just weigh you down so heavily, and especially mentally. It’s only natural to feel anxious and overwhelmed by all that, I mean, the prospect of your condition progressing or losing your independence – that’s the stuff of nightmares, straight up. And it’s so easy to get trapped in this spiral of “what-if” scenarios, constantly catastrophizing about everything that could possibly go wrong. But you know what? That future that our stupid minds came up is rarely as bleak as it seems. The reality is usually somewhere in the middle, if not better than we expect. The key is finding ways to stay grounded in the present, rather than getting consumed by all those worries about what’s to come. Have you considered talking to a mental health professional about this? They can be such a huge help in equipping you with healthy coping strategies, like mindfulness techniques, to manage those anxious thoughts. And don’t forget – you’re not alone in this. Reach out to your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or other folks in the MS community. Sharing your fears and feelings with people you trust can take so much of the burden off your shoulders. You deserve to have that network of love and encouragement. I know the uncertainty of the future is terrifying. But try to focus on what you can control in the here and now. Take things one day at a time, lean on your support system, and be kind to yourself through it all. When Your Child Has MS I can’t imagine how absolutely heartbreaking it must feel to have your child or parent diagnosed with any chronic illness. Your natural instinct is to just wrap them up and shield them from any pain, to make everything all better. But the reality is, any diagnosis affects the whole family – including your own mental and emotional wellbeing as a parent. You’re probably cycling through a lot of different emotions – fear about the future, frustration over the limitations the disease imposes, even guilt for not being able to do more. And on top of all that, you have to be this pillar of strength for your child. It’s such a delicate balancing act, trying to hold it all together. But listen to me – your mental health matters just as much as your child’s. You can’t pour from an empty cup. That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize your own self-care, whatever that looks like for you. You deserve to have the space and support you need to process all of this. I know it feels selfish, but taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your child. They need you at your best, your most grounded self. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. When Your Parent Has MS I know it can’t be easy having a parent with MS. That diagnosis must have been such a tough thing for a family to go through. As their kid, I’m sure you’re dealing with all kinds of emotions – uncertainty, fear, maybe even a little anger sometimes. One day your parent might be doing great, and the next they’re really struggling. It’s enough to make anyone feel anxious or worried about the future. And I imagine the caregiving responsibilities that often fall on children’s shoulders don’t make things any easier. Caregiver burnout is so real – the exhaustion, the resentment, it’s a lot to handle on top of everything else. I want you to know that if you have a parent with MS, you’re doing an amazing job supporting them through this. It’s not easy, but the fact that you’re aware of your own mental health needs is a real strength. Making sure to process those tough feelings, whether through counseling or just open talks with your parent, is important, so don’t forget that. If Your Partner or Spouse Has MS As their partner, you’re right there in the thick of it with them, sharing all the ups and downs, the hopes and fears. It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers. What matters most is that you’re there for each other, with empathy and compassion. Let your partner know you hear their fears and frustrations. Reassure them that you’re in this together, no matter what happens. At the same time, try to hold onto a sense of hope. Remind them (and yourself) that MS is a highly treatable condition, and that with the right care and support, many people are able to manage their symptoms and live full, meaningful lives. Celebrate the small victories, focus on the things you can control. But you have to take care of yourself too. Make sure to lean on your own support system – friends, family, even a counselor if that would help. You need space to process your own emotions. Lovely illustration by Holly Warburton Alright, I know we’ve covered a lot of heavy stuff when it comes to the mental health side of living with MS. But before we wrap things up, I want you to hear me loud and clear on this: You are not alone. No matter what kind of emotional challenges you’re facing – the anxiety, the depression, the day-to-day strain of it all – there are resources, support systems, and caring communities out there to help you through it. I get it, reaching out can be scary. But your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. They’re two sides of the same coin, you know? That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize taking care of yourself, in every sense of the word. Start by having an honest chat with your doctor or a therapist who understands what you’re going through. They can provide personalized guidance and connect you with the right tools and strategies. And don’t hesitate to lean on your loved ones too – your friends, your family, anyone you trust. Sharing your experiences can make such a difference. And you can even find your people online in MS support groups. It always helps to know you’re not navigating this alone, that there are others out there who just get it. The bottom line is, you deserve to feel supported, validated, and empowered – not just as someone living with MS, but as the whole, incredible human that you are. So promise me you’ll reach out, okay? Your mental health is worth fighting for. I’m sending you all the love and strength. You’ve got this. Check out our Resources page here.
71 When someone mentions Multiple Sclerosis, what pops into your head? Probably the physical struggles, right? But what about our mental health? Maybe you have MS, or you’re supporting a loved one with MS, or perhaps you’re learning about it for the first time. No matter who you are or what you already know, this article is here to highlight the mental health side of MS and hopefully share some practical advice to make things a little easier. And if the advice isn’t quite what you with MS need right now, I hope it at least makes you feel less alone in these thoughts and feelings. Living With MS Isn’t Just Physical Living with MS isn’t just about dealing with physical symptoms like fatigue, trouble moving around, or nerve pain. It also means facing a whole range of emotions that can sometimes feel just as (or more) overwhelming as the physical challenges. You might experience moments of frustration when your body doesn’t cooperate, or feel isolated when it seems like no one else quite understands what you’re going through. On top of that, there’s the constant pain of managing medical appointments, being your own advocate, medications, and treatment plans. It’s a lot to keep track of, and it can easily feel like a second job. It’s important to also acknowledge that living with MS can also impact your relationships, work, and day-to-day life. You might worry about being a burden to your loved ones or feel uncertain about what the future holds. These feelings are all part of the experience and can be tough to talk about. For parents, caregivers, and everyone who loves someone with MS, it could be comforting to know how to support them while also taking care of your own mental health, which is also very, very important. I wanted to talk about this because I remember when I first learned about MS — I had so many questions, and I wished I had more help to manage my mental well-being, beyond just focusing on medications, what the future would be like, and all those draining doctor visits. The Emotional UGH Of Getting The Diagnosis Receiving any life-changing diagnosis can be devastating, both mentally and emotionally, and it’s normal to feel a mix of difficult emotions – fear, grief, uncertainty, even depression, and it also varies depending on the circumstances leading up to the diagnosis. It might be a relief to finally have an answer to something that has worried you for a long time, or it could be terrible news you never wanted to hear. I was just feeling so checked out when I got my diagnosis and when the doc was explaining everything to me. He showed me these white spots on the brain scans and how they were linked to the paralysis and nerve pain I’d been dealing with. The tough part was, I’d already been bracing myself for the worst a month earlier, and that’s when I was really at my lowest – just drowning in all the uncertainty. Look, I totally get what you’re going through. It’s totally understandable to feel really sad and down for a while after getting news like that. Your emotions are valid, and you shouldn’t feel bad about needing time to process everything. At the same time, I also don’t want you to lose sight of the fact that you have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve to make the most of it and find ways to thrive, even with the challenges you’re facing. I know it’s tempting to go down the Google rabbit hole, searching for answers and preparing for the worst. But from personal experience, that can just end up ramping up the anxiety even more. The best thing is to stick to reputable medical sources when you need information, and try not to obsess over every worst-case scenario. I know that’s easier said than done – I’ve been there myself. But try to be kind to yourself through it all. The sadness and grief are completely understandable, so don’t beat yourself up over needing that time. Instead, focus on building your support system. Confide in trusted friends and family members about what you’re going through. Consider joining an online or in-person MS support group to connect with others who understand. A therapist can also provide guidance on coping strategies and managing these new feelings. And most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Facing any diagnosis is a major adjustment, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but also make time for activities that makes you happy – whether that’s playing the Sims, watching a movie, or watching silly animal videos on social media. Illustration by Erika Lee Sears So Which Treatment Plan Is The Best? I know, it’s so tempting to start Googling around and diving into online forums when you’re trying to figure out the right treatment plan, isn’t it? But oof, that’s a rabbit hole you really don’t want to go down. It’s like opening the floodgates to a room full of worried opinions and horror stories. The last thing you need is that kind of anxiety-inducing info. At the same time, I get that it’s so important to be proactive about your health and make sure you’re comfortable with the plan your doctor is recommending. Really understanding the potential side effects, weighing the pros and cons – that’s important. And you absolutely should feel empowered to speak up if something doesn’t feel right. But yikes, managing it all can be just exhausting, both mentally and physically. Why do we have to shoulder so much of that responsibility for our own care? It’s not fair that the responsibility is so often on us to be our own fierce advocates, on top of everything else we’re dealing with. I wish I had an easy answer, but the reality is, the healthcare system can be a real uphill battle sometimes. The best thing is to try to find that balance – trust your doctor’s expertise, but don’t be afraid to ask questions and push back when needed. Lean on your support system too, when the weight of it all starts to feel overwhelming. And Why Is Everything So Expensive? The financial side of managing this condition can also take such a huge toll on your mental health. It’s like this constant weight on your shoulders, worrying about how you’re gonna afford all the care you need. And the shame and powerlessness that can come with having to make tough financial tradeoffs or adjustments? That’s a whole other layer of difficulty. It’s so common to feel frustrated and ashamed about the state of your finances, especially when you’re already dealing with so much on the health front. But you’ve gotta remember – you are absolutely not alone in this struggle. So many people with MS are facing similar financial hardships. And the good news is, there are resources and support systems out there that can help ease that burden a little. The first step is to really dive into understanding your insurance coverage, and have an open conversation with your healthcare providers about the costs involved. Don’t be afraid to ask about financial assistance programs, payment plans, or alternative treatments that might be more affordable. Advocate for yourself – you’ve got to be your own champion here. And don’t forget about patient advocacy organizations like the National MS Society. They can be a wealth of information and connect you to support networks to help you navigate all this. You don’t have to go it alone. I know it’s not easy, and the financial stress can feel downright crippling sometimes. But try to hang in there, and remember that you’ve got people who want to help however they can. What If I Feel Like A Burden? I know that feeling all too well – the constant fear of being a burden on the people you love. As the practical and financial demands of managing this condition start to pile up, it’s so easy to just spiral into endless worry about the toll it’s taking on your family, friends, and partner. Those feelings of guilt can show up in all kinds of sneaky ways – withdrawing from social situations, avoiding asking for help when you need it, or even lashing out in anger at the people closest to you. The dread of being a source of stress or frustration is just paralyzing, isn’t it? It can lead to you shutting yourself off and damaging those important relationships. But hey, the key is opening up that line of communication. Have those honest conversations with your support network about what you’re feeling. Hearing their reassurances that you are absolutely not a burden, and working together to figure things out. I know it’s not easy to be vulnerable like that. The anxiety and shame can feel overwhelming. But try to remember that the people who love you want to be there for you, to support you however they can. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. In fact, it’s a gift you can give to the people who care about you – the chance to show up and be there for you. Don’t deprive them of that. You’re not a burden, my friend. You’re a person they love, going through something incredibly challenging. Let them in, and let them help carry that load with you. Illustration by Ruby Facing The Uncertainty Of The Future Living with MS is just this constant confrontation with the great unknown, isn’t it? What if the symptoms get worse? How’s it all going to impact your work, your relationships, the life you’ve built? Those persistent fears about the future can just weigh you down so heavily, and especially mentally. It’s only natural to feel anxious and overwhelmed by all that, I mean, the prospect of your condition progressing or losing your independence – that’s the stuff of nightmares, straight up. And it’s so easy to get trapped in this spiral of “what-if” scenarios, constantly catastrophizing about everything that could possibly go wrong. But you know what? That future that our stupid minds came up is rarely as bleak as it seems. The reality is usually somewhere in the middle, if not better than we expect. The key is finding ways to stay grounded in the present, rather than getting consumed by all those worries about what’s to come. Have you considered talking to a mental health professional about this? They can be such a huge help in equipping you with healthy coping strategies, like mindfulness techniques, to manage those anxious thoughts. And don’t forget – you’re not alone in this. Reach out to your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or other folks in the MS community. Sharing your fears and feelings with people you trust can take so much of the burden off your shoulders. You deserve to have that network of love and encouragement. I know the uncertainty of the future is terrifying. But try to focus on what you can control in the here and now. Take things one day at a time, lean on your support system, and be kind to yourself through it all. When Your Child Has MS I can’t imagine how absolutely heartbreaking it must feel to have your child or parent diagnosed with any chronic illness. Your natural instinct is to just wrap them up and shield them from any pain, to make everything all better. But the reality is, any diagnosis affects the whole family – including your own mental and emotional wellbeing as a parent. You’re probably cycling through a lot of different emotions – fear about the future, frustration over the limitations the disease imposes, even guilt for not being able to do more. And on top of all that, you have to be this pillar of strength for your child. It’s such a delicate balancing act, trying to hold it all together. But listen to me – your mental health matters just as much as your child’s. You can’t pour from an empty cup. That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize your own self-care, whatever that looks like for you. You deserve to have the space and support you need to process all of this. I know it feels selfish, but taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your child. They need you at your best, your most grounded self. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. When Your Parent Has MS I know it can’t be easy having a parent with MS. That diagnosis must have been such a tough thing for a family to go through. As their kid, I’m sure you’re dealing with all kinds of emotions – uncertainty, fear, maybe even a little anger sometimes. One day your parent might be doing great, and the next they’re really struggling. It’s enough to make anyone feel anxious or worried about the future. And I imagine the caregiving responsibilities that often fall on children’s shoulders don’t make things any easier. Caregiver burnout is so real – the exhaustion, the resentment, it’s a lot to handle on top of everything else. I want you to know that if you have a parent with MS, you’re doing an amazing job supporting them through this. It’s not easy, but the fact that you’re aware of your own mental health needs is a real strength. Making sure to process those tough feelings, whether through counseling or just open talks with your parent, is important, so don’t forget that. If Your Partner or Spouse Has MS As their partner, you’re right there in the thick of it with them, sharing all the ups and downs, the hopes and fears. It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers. What matters most is that you’re there for each other, with empathy and compassion. Let your partner know you hear their fears and frustrations. Reassure them that you’re in this together, no matter what happens. At the same time, try to hold onto a sense of hope. Remind them (and yourself) that MS is a highly treatable condition, and that with the right care and support, many people are able to manage their symptoms and live full, meaningful lives. Celebrate the small victories, focus on the things you can control. But you have to take care of yourself too. Make sure to lean on your own support system – friends, family, even a counselor if that would help. You need space to process your own emotions. Lovely illustration by Holly Warburton Alright, I know we’ve covered a lot of heavy stuff when it comes to the mental health side of living with MS. But before we wrap things up, I want you to hear me loud and clear on this: You are not alone. No matter what kind of emotional challenges you’re facing – the anxiety, the depression, the day-to-day strain of it all – there are resources, support systems, and caring communities out there to help you through it. I get it, reaching out can be scary. But your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. They’re two sides of the same coin, you know? That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize taking care of yourself, in every sense of the word. Start by having an honest chat with your doctor or a therapist who understands what you’re going through. They can provide personalized guidance and connect you with the right tools and strategies. And don’t hesitate to lean on your loved ones too – your friends, your family, anyone you trust. Sharing your experiences can make such a difference. And you can even find your people online in MS support groups. It always helps to know you’re not navigating this alone, that there are others out there who just get it. The bottom line is, you deserve to feel supported, validated, and empowered – not just as someone living with MS, but as the whole, incredible human that you are. So promise me you’ll reach out, okay? Your mental health is worth fighting for. I’m sending you all the love and strength. You’ve got this. Check out our Resources page here.
71 When someone mentions Multiple Sclerosis, what pops into your head? Probably the physical struggles, right? But what about our mental health? Maybe you have MS, or you’re supporting a loved one with MS, or perhaps you’re learning about it for the first time. No matter who you are or what you already know, this article is here to highlight the mental health side of MS and hopefully share some practical advice to make things a little easier. And if the advice isn’t quite what you with MS need right now, I hope it at least makes you feel less alone in these thoughts and feelings. Living With MS Isn’t Just Physical Living with MS isn’t just about dealing with physical symptoms like fatigue, trouble moving around, or nerve pain. It also means facing a whole range of emotions that can sometimes feel just as (or more) overwhelming as the physical challenges. You might experience moments of frustration when your body doesn’t cooperate, or feel isolated when it seems like no one else quite understands what you’re going through. On top of that, there’s the constant pain of managing medical appointments, being your own advocate, medications, and treatment plans. It’s a lot to keep track of, and it can easily feel like a second job. It’s important to also acknowledge that living with MS can also impact your relationships, work, and day-to-day life. You might worry about being a burden to your loved ones or feel uncertain about what the future holds. These feelings are all part of the experience and can be tough to talk about. For parents, caregivers, and everyone who loves someone with MS, it could be comforting to know how to support them while also taking care of your own mental health, which is also very, very important. I wanted to talk about this because I remember when I first learned about MS — I had so many questions, and I wished I had more help to manage my mental well-being, beyond just focusing on medications, what the future would be like, and all those draining doctor visits. The Emotional UGH Of Getting The Diagnosis Receiving any life-changing diagnosis can be devastating, both mentally and emotionally, and it’s normal to feel a mix of difficult emotions – fear, grief, uncertainty, even depression, and it also varies depending on the circumstances leading up to the diagnosis. It might be a relief to finally have an answer to something that has worried you for a long time, or it could be terrible news you never wanted to hear. I was just feeling so checked out when I got my diagnosis and when the doc was explaining everything to me. He showed me these white spots on the brain scans and how they were linked to the paralysis and nerve pain I’d been dealing with. The tough part was, I’d already been bracing myself for the worst a month earlier, and that’s when I was really at my lowest – just drowning in all the uncertainty. Look, I totally get what you’re going through. It’s totally understandable to feel really sad and down for a while after getting news like that. Your emotions are valid, and you shouldn’t feel bad about needing time to process everything. At the same time, I also don’t want you to lose sight of the fact that you have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve to make the most of it and find ways to thrive, even with the challenges you’re facing. I know it’s tempting to go down the Google rabbit hole, searching for answers and preparing for the worst. But from personal experience, that can just end up ramping up the anxiety even more. The best thing is to stick to reputable medical sources when you need information, and try not to obsess over every worst-case scenario. I know that’s easier said than done – I’ve been there myself. But try to be kind to yourself through it all. The sadness and grief are completely understandable, so don’t beat yourself up over needing that time. Instead, focus on building your support system. Confide in trusted friends and family members about what you’re going through. Consider joining an online or in-person MS support group to connect with others who understand. A therapist can also provide guidance on coping strategies and managing these new feelings. And most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Facing any diagnosis is a major adjustment, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but also make time for activities that makes you happy – whether that’s playing the Sims, watching a movie, or watching silly animal videos on social media. Illustration by Erika Lee Sears So Which Treatment Plan Is The Best? I know, it’s so tempting to start Googling around and diving into online forums when you’re trying to figure out the right treatment plan, isn’t it? But oof, that’s a rabbit hole you really don’t want to go down. It’s like opening the floodgates to a room full of worried opinions and horror stories. The last thing you need is that kind of anxiety-inducing info. At the same time, I get that it’s so important to be proactive about your health and make sure you’re comfortable with the plan your doctor is recommending. Really understanding the potential side effects, weighing the pros and cons – that’s important. And you absolutely should feel empowered to speak up if something doesn’t feel right. But yikes, managing it all can be just exhausting, both mentally and physically. Why do we have to shoulder so much of that responsibility for our own care? It’s not fair that the responsibility is so often on us to be our own fierce advocates, on top of everything else we’re dealing with. I wish I had an easy answer, but the reality is, the healthcare system can be a real uphill battle sometimes. The best thing is to try to find that balance – trust your doctor’s expertise, but don’t be afraid to ask questions and push back when needed. Lean on your support system too, when the weight of it all starts to feel overwhelming. And Why Is Everything So Expensive? The financial side of managing this condition can also take such a huge toll on your mental health. It’s like this constant weight on your shoulders, worrying about how you’re gonna afford all the care you need. And the shame and powerlessness that can come with having to make tough financial tradeoffs or adjustments? That’s a whole other layer of difficulty. It’s so common to feel frustrated and ashamed about the state of your finances, especially when you’re already dealing with so much on the health front. But you’ve gotta remember – you are absolutely not alone in this struggle. So many people with MS are facing similar financial hardships. And the good news is, there are resources and support systems out there that can help ease that burden a little. The first step is to really dive into understanding your insurance coverage, and have an open conversation with your healthcare providers about the costs involved. Don’t be afraid to ask about financial assistance programs, payment plans, or alternative treatments that might be more affordable. Advocate for yourself – you’ve got to be your own champion here. And don’t forget about patient advocacy organizations like the National MS Society. They can be a wealth of information and connect you to support networks to help you navigate all this. You don’t have to go it alone. I know it’s not easy, and the financial stress can feel downright crippling sometimes. But try to hang in there, and remember that you’ve got people who want to help however they can. What If I Feel Like A Burden? I know that feeling all too well – the constant fear of being a burden on the people you love. As the practical and financial demands of managing this condition start to pile up, it’s so easy to just spiral into endless worry about the toll it’s taking on your family, friends, and partner. Those feelings of guilt can show up in all kinds of sneaky ways – withdrawing from social situations, avoiding asking for help when you need it, or even lashing out in anger at the people closest to you. The dread of being a source of stress or frustration is just paralyzing, isn’t it? It can lead to you shutting yourself off and damaging those important relationships. But hey, the key is opening up that line of communication. Have those honest conversations with your support network about what you’re feeling. Hearing their reassurances that you are absolutely not a burden, and working together to figure things out. I know it’s not easy to be vulnerable like that. The anxiety and shame can feel overwhelming. But try to remember that the people who love you want to be there for you, to support you however they can. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. In fact, it’s a gift you can give to the people who care about you – the chance to show up and be there for you. Don’t deprive them of that. You’re not a burden, my friend. You’re a person they love, going through something incredibly challenging. Let them in, and let them help carry that load with you. Illustration by Ruby Facing The Uncertainty Of The Future Living with MS is just this constant confrontation with the great unknown, isn’t it? What if the symptoms get worse? How’s it all going to impact your work, your relationships, the life you’ve built? Those persistent fears about the future can just weigh you down so heavily, and especially mentally. It’s only natural to feel anxious and overwhelmed by all that, I mean, the prospect of your condition progressing or losing your independence – that’s the stuff of nightmares, straight up. And it’s so easy to get trapped in this spiral of “what-if” scenarios, constantly catastrophizing about everything that could possibly go wrong. But you know what? That future that our stupid minds came up is rarely as bleak as it seems. The reality is usually somewhere in the middle, if not better than we expect. The key is finding ways to stay grounded in the present, rather than getting consumed by all those worries about what’s to come. Have you considered talking to a mental health professional about this? They can be such a huge help in equipping you with healthy coping strategies, like mindfulness techniques, to manage those anxious thoughts. And don’t forget – you’re not alone in this. Reach out to your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or other folks in the MS community. Sharing your fears and feelings with people you trust can take so much of the burden off your shoulders. You deserve to have that network of love and encouragement. I know the uncertainty of the future is terrifying. But try to focus on what you can control in the here and now. Take things one day at a time, lean on your support system, and be kind to yourself through it all. When Your Child Has MS I can’t imagine how absolutely heartbreaking it must feel to have your child or parent diagnosed with any chronic illness. Your natural instinct is to just wrap them up and shield them from any pain, to make everything all better. But the reality is, any diagnosis affects the whole family – including your own mental and emotional wellbeing as a parent. You’re probably cycling through a lot of different emotions – fear about the future, frustration over the limitations the disease imposes, even guilt for not being able to do more. And on top of all that, you have to be this pillar of strength for your child. It’s such a delicate balancing act, trying to hold it all together. But listen to me – your mental health matters just as much as your child’s. You can’t pour from an empty cup. That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize your own self-care, whatever that looks like for you. You deserve to have the space and support you need to process all of this. I know it feels selfish, but taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your child. They need you at your best, your most grounded self. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. When Your Parent Has MS I know it can’t be easy having a parent with MS. That diagnosis must have been such a tough thing for a family to go through. As their kid, I’m sure you’re dealing with all kinds of emotions – uncertainty, fear, maybe even a little anger sometimes. One day your parent might be doing great, and the next they’re really struggling. It’s enough to make anyone feel anxious or worried about the future. And I imagine the caregiving responsibilities that often fall on children’s shoulders don’t make things any easier. Caregiver burnout is so real – the exhaustion, the resentment, it’s a lot to handle on top of everything else. I want you to know that if you have a parent with MS, you’re doing an amazing job supporting them through this. It’s not easy, but the fact that you’re aware of your own mental health needs is a real strength. Making sure to process those tough feelings, whether through counseling or just open talks with your parent, is important, so don’t forget that. If Your Partner or Spouse Has MS As their partner, you’re right there in the thick of it with them, sharing all the ups and downs, the hopes and fears. It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers. What matters most is that you’re there for each other, with empathy and compassion. Let your partner know you hear their fears and frustrations. Reassure them that you’re in this together, no matter what happens. At the same time, try to hold onto a sense of hope. Remind them (and yourself) that MS is a highly treatable condition, and that with the right care and support, many people are able to manage their symptoms and live full, meaningful lives. Celebrate the small victories, focus on the things you can control. But you have to take care of yourself too. Make sure to lean on your own support system – friends, family, even a counselor if that would help. You need space to process your own emotions. Lovely illustration by Holly Warburton Alright, I know we’ve covered a lot of heavy stuff when it comes to the mental health side of living with MS. But before we wrap things up, I want you to hear me loud and clear on this: You are not alone. No matter what kind of emotional challenges you’re facing – the anxiety, the depression, the day-to-day strain of it all – there are resources, support systems, and caring communities out there to help you through it. I get it, reaching out can be scary. But your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. They’re two sides of the same coin, you know? That’s why it’s so important that you prioritize taking care of yourself, in every sense of the word. Start by having an honest chat with your doctor or a therapist who understands what you’re going through. They can provide personalized guidance and connect you with the right tools and strategies. And don’t hesitate to lean on your loved ones too – your friends, your family, anyone you trust. Sharing your experiences can make such a difference. And you can even find your people online in MS support groups. It always helps to know you’re not navigating this alone, that there are others out there who just get it. The bottom line is, you deserve to feel supported, validated, and empowered – not just as someone living with MS, but as the whole, incredible human that you are. So promise me you’ll reach out, okay? Your mental health is worth fighting for. I’m sending you all the love and strength. You’ve got this. Check out our Resources page here.