63

Sara is a 24-year-old graphic designer living in Oslo. She grew up in Trondheim but fell in love with Oslo while studying at the university there. After graduating, she landed a job and decided to make the city her home. In 2023, Sara was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. When she’s not working, she spends time with her cat Milo, checks out new exhibits at local galleries, and goes for hikes in the forests around Oslo when she’s feeling up to it.

Hei…

I’ve deleted this post a hundred times. How do you even begin to explain how your life falls apart?

I’m Sara. A year ago, I was planning my wedding to my ex-boyfriend. Now… now I’m sitting here with MS and without him.

It started with my legs, arms, and face going numb. I was so scared. My ex-boyfriend promised he’d be there, but…

God, I was so naive.

The day I got diagnosed, he held my hand and told me we’d get through it. Liar.

As the appointments piled up after my MS diagnosis, as I tried medication after medication, he vanished. Always an excuse. Always “busy.” I’d lie in bed, body aching, wondering where he was. Who he was with…

Then came the relapse. I ended up in the university hospital, terrified and completely alone. I called my ex-boyfriend. Voicemail. I called his mom. Nothing. Three days of just… nothing. I’m still embarrassed by how many texts I sent him. And the voice notes!

Then came the text from him. The coward couldn’t even call:

“I can’t do this. I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t want to be with someone who’s disabled in the future.”

Seven years. Gone. Just like that.

I wanted to scream. To break things. To show up at his door and demand answers. How could he? HOW COULD HE?

I cried until I was empty. My friends tried to help, but they didn’t get it. They still don’t.

For months, I was angry. At him. At my body. At the world. Some days, I still am. How could he abandon me when I needed him most?

But now? Now I’m… grateful. Yeah, you read that right. Grateful.

Because what if this had happened 10, 20 years down the line? What if we were married with kids? What if I’d been in an accident instead?

I wish I never got MS, but it saved me from a lifetime with someone who couldn’t handle “in sickness and in health.” My ex-boyfriend bailed at the first sign of trouble. Me? I would’ve stayed if our roles were reversed. I would’ve fought for us. That’s the difference.

This disease showed me his true face. He’s not the man I thought he was. He’s a coward who runs when life gets hard.

And you know what? I deserve better. We deserve better.

I met someone new a few months ago. When I told him about my MS, he didn’t flinch. He asked how he could support me. He comes to appointments, learns about my meds, holds me on bad days.

That’s what love should be. Not running away when things get tough, but facing challenges together.

So yeah, I’m grateful. Grateful that MS showed me what I really need in a partner. Grateful I didn’t waste more years on someone who’d abandon me when life got hard.

To anyone going through this: It’s okay to be angry. To grieve. But know that you deserve someone who’ll go through the storm with you. Not leave.

MS is teaching me what real love looks like. And it’s not what I had with my ex-boyfriend.

And yes, I still cry! But they’re different tears now. Tears of relief, of gratitude, and of happiness because I am in love again.

Klem fra Oslo,
Sara